Those Impacted

The ripple effect is bigger and wider than anyone sees.

The Ripple Effect of a Betrayal of Trust

When spiritual authority is misused, a sacred trust is brokenthe wound doesn't stay contained.

The ripple effect spreads like a fracture. It shatters those who've been directly harmed. It is amplified for those who stood closest to the seat of abuse. It breaks trust within the congregation. And far too late, it confirms the suspicions of those who left but never had a name for what they sensed until now.

You may be trying to figure out if your experience counts.
Chances are...it does.

The confusion or grief you're carrying is real. The disorientation is real. And the ways this journey is impacting your relationship with God is real too.

Wherever you find yourself here, we hope the pages below will help you recognize your own experience and that of those you care about—and help you take next steps toward freedom and light.

Your story matters. Whether you're a victim, a board member, a spouse, a team leader—a pastor left picking up the pieces—or someone who has walked away, disillusioned or disappointed. We hope somewhere in these pages that you will recognize something of your experience and feel just a little less alone.

Beyond the Church Walls

The aftermath of spiritual abuse does not stop at the church doors.

Beyond them, a whole community is watching. People who once saw this congregation as a place of light and truth. Friends who knew some of the people involved. Neighbors who noticed the silence, or the news.

They carry something too—disillusionment, maybe, or a quiet grief for what they thought the church was. Some of them have walked away from faith entirely.

If that's you: your disillusionment is not the end. It's an honest response to something real. And Jesus—the very One whose name and authority have been misused—Jesus never abuses our trust.

He is still the way home.

Circles of Impact

This graphic maps the reach of spiritual abuse—who it touches, how close they stand to the harm, and why the impact is different and profound for each circle.

The Circle of Impact worksheet is available as a free download for you or your community. Feel free to share it with church leaders and others who may be walking through a similar experience.

Circle of Impact Worksheet

VICTIMS

of clergy sexual abuse

Victims of a clergy sexual abuse have experienced substantial grooming to be faithful to their spiritual leaders and to see them as good and holy. The weight of the world has been placed on their shoulders. Often, they've been convinced that seeking help would be an act of betrayal and would destroy the church they love, along with their abuser's ministry. Whether whistle-blowers or victims who've been caught, they've been under the spiritual abuse of power and must be lovingly, patiently, and gently cared for in the most devastating season of their lives.

CONGREGATION

The larger church body, though deeply impacted, will tend to experience the betrayal less viscerally than those in leadership initially. The need for education regarding a spiritual abuse of power (and the reality that clergy sexual abuse is not an affair, if pertinent) is paramount. Special care is needed to help the congregation understand the nature of the imbalance of power. Some might prefer to stay blinded to this rather than give up the image they may have had of a particular leader. Gently but truthfully educating the congregation will be essential for their own healing down the road.

CHURCH LEADERS

Church leaders at every level, whether team leaders, elders, staff members or volunteers, are now in the difficult position of facing betrayal as well as leading their congregation through the aftermath of abuse. Typically, these leaders have been serving long hours and/or lending their names, reputations, vision, and voices to a ministry that has been undermined by sin and spiritual abuse. These leaders need to be informed, prayed for and cared for as they in turn help care for others impacted by the betrayal - and as they relearn healthy church leadership.

EARLY EXITERS

Brave souls involved in an unhealthy or abusive community may recognize red flags significantly before others on staff or within the congregation. Although they sometimes try to effect change from within, they often find they have to step away from the community they love —and because of the nature of controlling cultures, they often lose relationship with those they once considered friends.

INNER CIRCLE

This small group of people closest to the perpetrator, including assistants, partners in ministry, and those who have played a vital support role in the pastor's ministry, may be rocked by this discovery. (This group will vary, depending on the size of the church.) It is very normal to uncover, over time, that manipulation, abuse, and "powering up" have been prevalent in relationships between the pastor/perpetrator and these support people as well.

SPOUSES & FAMILIES

The spouse and families (and sometimes extended families) of both the perpetrator and victim(s) will have their worlds rocked as moral failures and misuse of power is uncovered. Initial responses may vary, but these individuals are facing a deep betrayal of trust, as well as shame and often overwhelming rejection within the church body. Caring for the families of those involved is a tender task.

PASTORS LEADING IN THE

AFTERMATH

Pastors also walk through this territory, at times, navigating the harm of spiritual and clergy sexual abuse that has happened on their watch. This is devastating and should raise questions among the leadership body about how such abuse was enabled within the church and leadership culture. Abuses of power do not happen within a vaccuum—and often whole leadership overhauls are required to re-set a culture. Without deep repentance on every level of leadership, such sin will not be rooted out and will continue to cause infection within the church body.

ABUSIVE LEADERS

(perpetrators)

Whether the abusive leader is the senior pastor or someone else with spiritual authority, this person is in need of truth, counseling, discipline, and care. They have caused deep harm which is difficult to own. While not the primary focus of care and compassion, this person is walking through trauma. Caring for them is best handled outside the church by wise leaders who reject quick apologies, efforts to control the narrative, cheap grace, and any justification for sin.

Church Crisis Help

A truth-filled apology will contain a majestic quality. A concession, on the other hand, will lack that freeing quality. It does more to confuse than heal because it doesn’t name specific wrongs, so you are left feeling unsure of what the wrongdoer is taking responsibility for. A concession is frustrating because it makes you wonder if they really “get it.” And it traps you because refusing to accept the “apology” will likely lead to further tension.

- Wade Mullen

Something's Not Right: Decoding the Hidden Tactics of Abuse