When the people of God are rocked by sin or moral failure within the church - confusion, misunderstanding, anger, and disillusionment are sure to follow. When trusted church leaders are involved, the heartbreak is multiplied.

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We know. We've been there.

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As volunteers, staff, and leaders in a church we loved, the community and mission were close to our hearts. We were drawn to this church out of a deep love for Jesus, and we wanted others to know Him and experience His goodness and grace in their lives. And we saw that happening before our very eyes. It was in many ways stunning, but we did not understand the roots of spiritual abuse that were beginning to grow in our midst.

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Like most stories, ours was not immediately apparent. What began beautifully had weeds growing up alongside — and over time they grew dark and tangled. The lights came on for us in different ways. Some who had experienced spiritual abuse in the past saw familiar red flags that brought them to heart-breaking decisions to leave long before others understood what was happening. Others were engulfed in the devastation of clergy sexual abuse before they began to understand the years of grooming, manipulation, and control that had been at work. Those in the closest circles of leadership prayed daily for God's rescue, trying to hold on, not understanding the tactics that had appropriated their allegiance and bound them to excessive pressure and eroded boundaries.

 

For each of us, it's taken years to disentangle ourselves and our faith from the abuse handed down to us — and through us — in our high-pressure, high-stakes culture, and from the fallout that inevitably followed. It was soul-wrecking and deeply painful not only for us, but for many. As leaders, we deeply grieve the part we played in an abusive culture, demanding far more than we understood or realized. That is not the way of Jesus, and it should never have been so.

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We are forever grateful for the Lord's rescue. He has met each of us with deep care, kindness, truth, and healing along the way. We are in awe of the forgiveness, grace, and reconciliation we've experienced through Him. We were wounded in community, and His healing in community continues to amaze us. The restoration of relationships we've experienced with one another is only possible in Him. He who is faithful is making all things new. 

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As those who have walked this road and seen His goodness, we are dedicated to helping those harmed in Christian communities recover a thriving faith. None of this is a journey we would have knowingly chosen, but we are grateful to be on the way home. And along the way, we're working to follow the instructions God gives in Jeremiah 31:21.