Among You It Will Be Different

Leadership in the church is sacred. It is not simply an organizational system of power—it comes with inherent trust and carries spiritual weight, influence, and relational and emotional impact.

Jesus understood this.

In Mark 10, Jesus gave His disciples this picture of leadership:

“You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be the slave of everyone else.”

If you’ve ever had leadership “lorded” over you, you know what it feels like. It’s heavier, sharper—more controlling than it should be. Or it’s uncomfortably familiar, pressurizing, or cornering. Instead of lifting, it diminishes. Instead of sharpening, it cuts. Instead of empowering, it constricts. You may not be able to put your finger on it, but it feels like something’s not right.

Maybe you’ve even lorded your power over others. We do this, at times, out of stress, self-aggrandizement, carrying the wrong weight on our shoulders. But it has no place in the body of Christ. (And even less so among our spiritual leaders—those called by God to be servants first.)

When we look at leadership within His body, it’s worth asking—how is it different than the world?

We may use phrases like servant-leadership; we may teach on humility. But are we humble? Are we aspiring more to leadership or to becoming servants?

How is leadership within the church different than the world?

Jesus did not say, “Whoever wants to lead must become a servant-leader.” He said, rather, “Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant.” This distinction matters. The focus is not primarily on leadership with humility attached (although even that is far too rare); it’s on becoming a servant.

In John 10, Jesus describes Himself as the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for the sheep. And in 1 Peter 5, leaders also are urged to shepherd, “not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples.”

So what is the impact within the church when leadership—which is meant to reflect the heart and character of God—collides with a misuse or abuse of power? This is the very opposite of laying one’s life down for the sheep. In Ezekiel 22, God calls leaders who do this wolves.

Spiritual abuse occurs when someone who has been entrusted with spiritual authority uses that trust or influence to control, manipulate, or harm others. It may be intentional or unintentional, but the damage is far-reaching.

Spiritual abuse occurs when someone who has been entrusted with spiritual authority uses that trust or influence to control, manipulate, or harm others.

In our society, certain professions like doctors, pastors, and counselors are granted unearned trust and influence. We extend this, assuming this will be stewarded with humility and integrity. When it is, instead, betrayed or exploited for control, self-protection, image, or personal preference, leadership is distorted.

When that happens within the church, our understanding of God Himself may be distorted.

This misuse or abuse of power wounds deeply because it touches the very place where we seek truth, safety, and connection with God. It blurs discernment, creates confusion, and can cause individuals to question their faith or even themselves. In severe cases, whole communities can begin to revolve around a personality rather than Christ.

Unhealthy leadership can slowly shift the center of gravity:

• An inappropriate orbit forms around a leader’s preferences.

• The fruit of the Spirit is replaced with shame, intimidation, or control.

• “Fruit” comes to indicate numbers.

• A leader becomes “exceptional”—treated as above accountability.

• Vulnerabilities are exploited rather than shepherded.

This is not the way of Jesus.

Jesus never used His power for selfish gain. He never powered up or leveraged His position to satisfy or gratify His own desires. He never used His followers to better His own life or situation or station.

NEVER.

The only One who is Lord never lorded it over anyone.

The only One who is Lord never lorded it over anyone.

Instead, Jesus used His power to lift the broken, welcome the outsider, and heal the wounded. He used His power to bless, to uplift, to protect, to flip any table that stood between the desperate and their God.

This is the way of Jesus.